Communication

Communication is constantly happening. No matter how hard we try, we are always communicating.  Whether it is through our words or our body, we are continually expressing our thoughts, feelings, and opinions.
 
If you watch two people interacting you can tell how well the conversation is going based on both people’s facial expressions and body language.  For example, if one person has a scowl on their face, is leaning back, and their arms are crossed, we assume that the person is not happy about what is being said. On the other hand, if the person is smiling, nodding, and leaning forward, we can recognize that they are enjoying and agreeing with the speaker.
 
I have always considered myself a good communicator…that is until recently. What I realized is that I am actually good at verbally expressing myself and my opinions. Verbal expression does not mean that I am actually communicating. Yes, I am speaking and using language, but I am not necessarily getting my message across.
 
When I was in college, I had the opportunity to go to Puerto Rico on a mission trip and I wrote a sermon in Spanish. I was nearly fluent in Spanish at the time, but I was not proficient enough not to have and read a manuscript. My classmates who went with me had no idea what I said and would have rather that I preached in English and had an interpreter work with me to translate my sermon into Spanish.  
 
I communicated the Easter story to the audience of Spanish speakers, but I did not communicate to my classmates. The difficulty was that all of the Puerto Ricans speak English. They are required to learn English in school because they are a United States territory. In other words, if I had spoken in English, everyone could have understood the message that I prepared for that day.
 
In his book, Everyone Communicates, Few Connect, John Maxwell describes some of the biggest issues with communication. He suggests that many of us do not take the time to build trust with people, to show that we care for people, and to show that we can help people. The old adage: “People do not care how much you know until they know how much you care,” holds true in communication.
 
Communication has many purposes, but I see the ultimate purpose of communication as building relationships with people. No matter what you do, you will have to interact with people. Unless you are going to be a reclusive monk, living in a remote hut in an uninhabited part of the world, you will at some point have to communicate with others.
 
The ability to communicate well is a vital part of every person’s toolbox. We must be able to express ourselves verbally, using language that is appropriate to the situation. We must also be able to express our emotions and feelings through our nonverbal communication. This means that we have to understand and control our facial expressions and body language during our conversations. It is very easy to show annoyance, anger, frustration, and boredom in our nonverbal expressions if we are not careful. These can be barriers to the very relationships we are trying to build.
 
I understand that we do not have the ability or desire to be in relationship with every person we encounter. We do not have the time or the energy to support all of those relationships. However, I believe that it is essential to communicate well and to build positive rapport with each person we meet. You do not know with whom you may be interacting. It could be a future employer, a future friend, a future spouse, a future teammate, a future coworker, or a future neighbor.
 
That is why it is essential to communicate intentionally and positively with each person we encounter. It could lead to additional business deals, exciting new relationships, job prospects, and other great opportunities that we would never have if we did not engage in communicating and connecting with others.
 
How can you improve your communication with others? One of the best ways is to learn about how you communicate based on your personality and behavioral preferences. The Maxwell Method of Communication Impact Report will help you understand your communication preferences. This includes how you communicate with others as well as how you prefer people to communicate with you. It provides strategies to improve your communication with each person based on their personality and behavioral preferences.
 
If you want to utilize this resource, contact me at david@davidswihart.com and set up a time to enhance your ability to communicate.
 
Blessings!
 
David Swihart
Next Steps Coaching, LLC